Stress and the associated worry and even anxiety are all uncomfortable feelings that the vast majority of us don’t enjoy. But is there a possibility that some level of stress is actually good for us?
How could stress be good for us?
Without some stress in our lives many of us would never take any action or move forward with what’s important to us. The trick is to harness stress without letting it taking over, making it wrong or needing our stressful thoughts and feelings go away.
Having experienced gripping and debilitating stress, worry and anxiety in the past, I certainly understand the desire to just make it all go away and man did I try to make this happen! The problem was, it didn’t work, the feelings didn’t go away and often this strategy made me feel even worse because I was in a constant struggle with my feelings.
Is there another way?
Another way, one that I have found extremely effective in managing stress and anxiety is through acceptance and mindfulness. When I first discovered this method of managing my anxiety I didn’t think it could help at all, but I put this aside and tried anyway and it did work, it really did. And it’s so simple. Here are some of my favourite strategies to use when I get caught up in stressful, worrying and anxious thoughts and feelings.
Drop the struggle
This is such a simple exercise which can be done where ever you are. When you are feeling stressed, worried or anxious and struggling with these feelings, imagine yourself holding one end of a rope and an undesirable creature holding the other end. You are pulling hard on the rope as you struggle with the uncomfortable feeling (represented by the creature) thinking ‘surely if I am strong enough these feelings will go away’. Then imagine simply letting go of the rope, as you do this also let go of the fight, drop the struggle and allow the thoughts and feeling to just be as they are. At this point you can also open your hands and feel yourself drop this imaginary rope. This motion creates openness and also helps the body relax.
Label
Our stressful and anxious thoughts and feelings need some attention, however, we don’t need to get caught up in them. A simple way to do this is:
- Acknowlege the presence of your uncomfortable thoughts and feelings
- Remind yourself that they can’t actually hurt you unless you make it so by struggling with them
- Then, simply said aloud or to yourself: “there’s worrying” or “thanks mind, there’s the thought that I am lazy/hopeless/inefficient/such an idiot”, or my favourite “there’s worrying/thinking/judging myself…..whatever!!”
- For effect you can even shug your shoulders and remind yourself that you can choose not to buy in
Get curious
We all do things that are important to us but also increase our levels of stress and anxiety. It is a good idea to identify why these things are important to us. It may be because you want to achieve something important, for example: starting your own business which means leaving the comfort and security of your regular job or doing something that triggers anxiety but is important to your partner or child and you value being there for the people you love.
The following question can help:
- Is what I am doing important to me? And why?
- How does this activity contribute to my life?
- What do I value in life that makes this activity meaningful to me?
